Character - Annoying phone call customer

From July 14,

Dear Potential CVS Customers,

If you come to my register to check out with a phone to your ear, just go ahead and assume I hate you a little.

If, on top of that, you ask me to open your bottle of vitamin water after the transaction because you are unable to pry the phone from your ear for a second, just assume I want to hit you in the face.

If you then repeat these infractions an hour later after sitting at the in-store patio display for your oh-so-important phone call on your prepaid phone, just assume the only reason you're still alive is because I'm too pretty for jail.

Sincerely,
Trevor